Extraordinary Liars

August 11, 2016

My grandchildren are incapable of lying. Even if I have broken unwritten rules while babysitting and allowed them to pick anything they want to eat at the Red Store, Finn and Charlotte will share the news of their secret treats immediately with their mother. “Guess what Grammy let us have?!”

Charlotte and Finn having fun at Hershey Park in front of a Hershey Bear! It was a chocolate lovers' weekend.

This is good news according Howard Forman, MD, of Montefiore Medical Center. In fact, when children are caught in lies, parents must discipline them or risk telling the child’s brain that lying works. In his Medical Daily article published online last year, “A Pathological Liar is Made, Not Born: When Telling the Truth is Nearly Impossible,” author Chris Weller explains that the kind of pathological lying that comes so easily to Donald Trump “doesn’t drop up out of nowhere like a tumor. Somewhere along the line, and then for multiple years thereafter, it gets learned.”

In the psychiatric community, pathological lying (PL) is a “controversial topic,” says Charles C. Dike, MD, MPH, MRCPsych, writing in Psychiatric Times , “Pathological Lying: Symptom or Disease?” The latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSL) doesn’t even list PL as it’s own pathology, Dike says, but instead calls pathological lying an antisocial personality disorder. It’s a symptom of a larger diagnosis. “PL is characterized by a long history (maybe lifelong) of frequent and repeated lying for which no apparent psychological motive or external benefit can be discerned…In some cases, they might be self-incriminating or damaging, which makes the behavior even more incomprehensible.” Yesterday, Trump announced that President Obama is a founder of the terrorist group ISIS. Wow. I can only say wow. This is the kind of distortion that pushes Trump’s mental state way over the edge of normal. Are we looking at a patient, a presidential candidate, suffering from “pseudologia phantastica?” That’s the name given to PL by German physician Anton Delbruck to describe these kinds of liars.

I grew up with a budding pathological liar. My younger sister was so skillful and convincing at times that I would question my own memory of what she was so obviously lying about. I ’ll bet Donald Trump’s siblings know exactly what I’m talking about. Did they shake their heads in wonder at his audacity, as I did, about his lying?

< Older Post Newer Post >

What's in a Baby's Facial Expression

July 18, 2017

Alexander Stone Carr was born on Dec. 16, 2016 and I met this newest – my fifth! – grandchild moments after his birth in the middle of a long night. He stared intently, wide-awake and alert, into his mother’s eyes and actually grabbed for a necklace Maggie was wearing. Both wore falling-in-love-at-first-sight facial expressions that were absolutely priceless. And since then, Alex has only grown even more expansive in the way he can speak volumes with his little face using every muscle available, even his eyebrows going up and down in what looks like real wisdom. I mean, honestly, how did he know how to smile and make eye contact at the perfect moments? He’s also talking baby gibberish, chatting seriously about what’s on his mind…though we don’t understand a word he is saying as yet. His pure joy at being here is apparent to all, even complete strangers who engage with him.

Thanks Mom...Understanding Attachment Theory

January 9, 2017

Maggie had a baby boy, Alexander Stone Carr. Here they are on day 1...learning to love and totally attached to one another.

Don't Knock Nesting Instinct

October 20, 2016

My daughter Maggie is going to have a little boy on or about December 22 of this year. She is absolutely thrilled and absolutely caught up in nesting instinct imperatives. Please don’t knock them. “Maternal nest-building is regulated by the hormonal actions of estradiol, progesterone and prolactin,” according to Wikipedia which references a study in the Journal of Neuroendocrinology .

Sibling Rivalry Never Grows Old

September 15, 2016

This morning one of my siblings sent an exasperating “dig” my way. I’m one of six children and right in the middle of the pack. I should be used to family dynamics by now – after all, I’m 67 – but of course, I’m not. What is absolutely extraordinary in this ordinary world of family life, is that sibling rivalry never grows old.

Don't Pick on Picky Eaters

July 13, 2016

I’ve had generations of experience with what society likes to call “picky eaters.” My father had very touchy taste buds, for instance, and would carefully separate the miniscule pieces of minced onion my mother had chopped so finely into her beef stroganoff. That little pile on the side of his plate after he had finished his meal was a dead giveaway. We six children grew up knowing that dad would only eat certain foods. So when my son Zach – even as an infant – showed picky-eater tendencies, I was alarmed at first. Advice-givers, medical professionals, well-meaning relatives as well as total strangers, were everywhere. It took some research to be able to withstand the onslaught from all sides. Zach is healthy, happy and brilliant. He didn’t eat his peas. So what.

Why Crying Is Good for You

June 29, 2016

I cry easily at happy, sad or any kind of emotional occasion. Last Monday, all three of my grandchildren cried at different points during what was actually a wonderful day. From a sibling squabble between Finn, 5, and Charlotte, almost 4, to the emotional frustration experienced by their cousin Evie at 2, the tears fell. I often beat myself up about how easily my tears show up. My older sister reminds me that when I cry I lose all my power. Damn those tears! Or maybe not?

Positive Emotions = Smarter & Healthier

May 3, 2016

Watching my grandchildren at play on Saturday sent me on a quest to research just how powerful happy playfulness can be. Finn, 5, Charlotte, 3 and Evie, 2, were having so much fun that I overheard Ev say, “I love playing.” I expected to find research that supported the importance of play for growing children but stumbled upon the brilliant work of social psychologist Barbara L. Fredrickson, PhD, now at the University of North Carolina. Play and the positive emotions accompanying it, are critical for adults’ physical health and intellectual well-being.

Mother-Baby Bond: Priceless!

January 11, 2016

The Grandmother Effect

October 1, 2015

I’ve been doing a lot of babysitting the last few months and there is nothing more rewarding and exhausting. There is certainly a biological reason for motherhood being reserved for the younger generation. Don’t even try to talk to me after a 12-hour day with a toddler. I am so tired that I can hardly think straight. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. Not only am I growing closer and more in love with all three of my grandchildren but it turns out that my natural instinct as a grandmother to want to help my children raise their children has evolutionary rewards for all.

Gut Wisdom

July 14, 2015

Buy this book! Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body’s Most Underrated Organ by Giula Enders, a 25-year-old doctoral student at the Institute for Medical Microbiology in Frankfurt, Germany, is absolutely wonderful. I know. I know. Who really wants to read about Charming Bowels (or Darm mit Charme the title of her book before it was translated and marketed for U.S. readers)? We all should.